Rape often isn’t a crime when women do it

Leave a comment

Women Raping Men

By RICHARD MORGAN

Five years ago, a few months before his first semester at Ohio State, Nick (not his real name) lost his virginity on the floor of a dark living room, surrounded by sleeping party goers. “She told a lot of people she was going to fuck me,” says Nick, 23, sitting in a booth at the Blue Danube, a greasy spoon in his hometown of Columbus, Ohio. “She gave me a lot of vodka and she did it. I was barely awake. But I remember — it was so weird — she said, ‘Look, I’m either going to fuck you or go to the kitchen and fuck a cucumber.'”

He was too drunk to remember the hows of what followed, but he knows there was no condom, no consent, and, at first, no problem.

The next morning, “I woke up and I’m like, ‘Holy shit! I must be in love,'” Nick says. “And she says, ‘Get real. I was just fucking you.'”

Upon suffering a variety of emotional problems Nick sought counseling, and it was then that he came to believe that in losing his virginity he had become not a man but a victim of rape.

More

Advertisements

Press Release: Launching Andhra Pradesh Mother-in-law Protection Association

1 Comment

Launch of Andhra Pradesh Mothers-in-law Protection Association (APMPA)

Venue: Public Gardens, Opposite Jubilee Hall, Hyderabad, AP

Date and Time: 18 October 2009, 11:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m.

Written by Uma Challa

Mothers-in-law in our country are being severely discriminated against, neglected and subjected to all forms of domestic abuse over the last decade. Unless provisions are made to protect mothers-in-law from discrimination, domestic violence, and legal harassment, and unless steps are taken to ensure their welfare during their post-menopausal years, we will witness serious deterioration in the health conditions of aging women in the country, and reduction in their life span.

Andhra Pradesh Mothers-in-law Protection Association (APMPA) is the first ever social forum created to protect the rights and interests of mothers-in-law in Andhra Pradesh. APMPA is the Andhra Pradesh chapter of All India Mothers-in-law Protection Forum (http://www.aimpf.org) which was launched on 6 September 2009 in Bangalore, followed by the launch of local chapters in Delhi, Nagpur and Lucknow.

Mothers-in-law have historically been portrayed as evil and bloodthirsty by media and popular culture. However, it is a scientifically and also statistically established fact that mothers-in-law are unnecessarily maligned and subjected to discrimination by the society.

The National Family Health Survey (NFHS) (http://www.nfhsindia.org Vol-1 Page 500) has conclusively established that a woman in the age group of 15-49 years of age faces 8 times more violence from her own mother compared to her mother-in-law. 13.7% women have faced violence from their own mother as compared to 1.7% women who have faced from their mothers-in-law.

Recent Research has shown that “daughters-in-law are programmed to hate mothers-in-law”. This is one of the most important causes of the stereotyping of mothers-in-law in the society.

Mothers-in-law are being discriminated against in spite of their generosity just for the sin of giving birth to sons and getting them married. They are being forced to part with their earnings, savings and inherited wealth and they are being thrown out of their own property at the behest of a disgruntled daughter-in-law. They are losing their mental peace and health, and many a time even their husbands and sons to untimely death or suicide when daughters-in-law indulge in making false allegations and defamation of the husband’s family. In many instances, the mothers-in-law themselves commit suicide.

Mothers -in-law in India face severe abuse from daughters-in-law:

  • Physical harassment including assault, locking up the mother-in-law in a room, denying food and medication etc.
  • Mental harassment including taunts, allegations, caustic comments, threatening to file police cases, disallowing communication with her son, grandchildren, defaming her and her family etc.
  • Verbal harassment including name calling, insulting, abusing, etc.
  • Economic abuse including extorting her money and wealth, throwing her out of her own house and forcibly occupying the house, etc.
  • Legal harassment including inciting the police to threaten her, filing false cases under Dowry Prohibition Act, IPC Section 498A, Domestic Violence Act, and other related sections, sending her to jail or forcing her to run around the court for years together.
  • Driving mothers-in-law to commit suicide.

The National Family Health Survey, conducted by the Ministry of Family Health and Welfare only counts women between the ages of 15-49 as women. Mothers-in-law who fall in the age bracket above 49 do not count as women, and their health and welfare is not a matter of concern for the Government of India.

While there are close to 15 laws that provide protection to daughters-in-law, mothers-in-law do not have any societal support or legal protection from any form of discrimination or abuse.

In the last four years, over 1,23,497 women, most of them being mothers-in-law, have been arrested under IPC Section 498A alone, without evidence or investigation, not for committing any crime under law, but only because they were related to a man.

Noted women’s rights activist Madhu Kishwar acknowledged that IPC Section 498A is heavily misused, and that a significant proportion of individuals who approach “Manushi” these days are mothers-in-law and husbands who are falsely accused of marital cruelty and dowry harassment.

Renowned IPS officer Kiran Bedi admitted that many poor and illiterate mothers-in-law, who are falsely charged under anti-dowry laws, are languishing in prison every year.

Several elderly women, falsely accused under IPC Section 498A (for the only crime of mothering sons and getting the sons married) approached the National Commission for Women, seeking justice. These women have long heart-rending accounts of how they are being harassed by their daughters-in-law. The NCW’s short, yet prompt and candid response to these mothers was, “Your matter does not fall under the mandate of the Commission”.

Similarly, in June 2009, a 45 year old mother-in-law was arrested in a dowry harassment case filed by her daughter-in-law. The poor lady was allegedly gang-raped in police custody, in Bhopal. The news, which was reported in leading newspapers, went completely unnoticed by the NCW or any other women’s organization that harps about fighting atrocities against women. No panel was set up. No probe was initiated and no action has been taken against this brutality perpetrated against a mother-in-law.

On 8 October 2009, a news report described the gut-wrenching tale of a 75-year-old mother-in-law, Jiwan Devi, who is another victim of societal and legal bias against mothers-in-law. Holding back her tears, here is what she said to the journalist who visited her:

“What is the point?…I and my sons were in jail for four years before we were acquitted. And my grandchildren were at the mercy of our neighbours and distant relatives. Why?… My granddaughter is 19. While all her friends are in college, she is still in class 11. This happened only because there was no one to take care of them while we were in jail. They were also in deep shock”’

There are thousands of Jiwan Devis in this country, whose lives have been destroyed, just for having given life to sons. These are the women whose woes do not fall under the agenda of the Ministry for Women and Child Development, the National Commission for Women, or any other related women’s organization, and they have nowhere to go to seek help and support for problems specifically affecting them.

APMPA will work towards the protection and welfare of such mothers-in-law in distress by creating awareness, giving them moral support and counseling. We will also urge the government to reform the present “wife-centric” domestic violence laws and demand equal protection for mothers-in-law from domestic violence.

The helpline numbers of the Andhra Pradesh Mothers-in-law Protection Association are 9704683163, 9573605415. Mothers-in-law facing harassment from their daughters-in-law can contact these numbers.

Which idiot says the DV Act is misused?

1 Comment

Day in and Day out, we get to hear so many cases of the women-centric laws being misused. Be it the 498A or the PWDVA (Commonly known as the DV Act), everyone around alleges that these laws are being misused by the legal terrorists to terrorize their husbands and their families and using them as Free ATM Machines.

However, a critical study of this PWDVA law itself, makes me wonder; is this law really being misused at all? Surprised? Let me give you some grounds to think…

  • The act is made to provide relief ONLY to the married women in a domestic setup.
  • It’s one of the only laws that are entirely drafted and finalized by Lawyers, and not the legislation. This seems to me like a lock designed by a team of thiefs; and you expect that lock to be theft-proof.
  • This law is also famous as being a clumsy copy of the notorious VAWA law of the US, which is under a lot of criticism already. Even otherwise this law is a direct offshoot from the US sponsorship towards breakage of Indian Family system.
  • This law defines Domestic Violence as anything that the wife feels as a cruelty towards her. It might include the husband not giving her money for Kitty Party, or even he calling her step brother an idiot.
  • The law provides the wife to accuse anyone in the domestic relationship, including 2 months old baby, 89 years old granny or an 8 months pregnant sister-in-law. And they’ll all be required to run from pillar to post in the Indian Courts for as long as the Complainant or the Judge wants.
  • The complainant under this act can ask for any amount of money from the husband as compensation. There’s no limits to her imagination.
  • The complainant can also ask for a “right to residence” in any house that she might have stayed with her husband, ever. In addition, she can also legally ask all the other residents in that house to evacuate it, on the pretext that she feels threatened by them.
  • The Complainant can file a case under this act at any time of her life, even after 12 years of her divorce from the accused (ex-) husband.
  • There is no penalty whatsoever for the complainant if the filed case is proven to be entirely false.
  • The Supreme Court of India has ruled very clearly that this Act is a Clumsily Drafted Law and so it should be scrapped.
  • This law is already declared as unconstitutional by the National Organization “Save Indian Family” in it’s National-level Shimla Meet 2009.

With all the above points about this particular act, don’t you think the law was specifically designed by the Lawyers Collective for the exact purpose to destroy the very fabric of the country?

Now that you know the background about this law, do you still think this law is being misused? I’d say not at all. The PWDVA, 2006 is actually Used properly for achieving it’s exact objective. The objective to destroy India and the Indian Family System, by destroying the very workforce of the country, i.e. the Men and their families.

So when a law is being used exactly as it was designed to be used, would you still call it a misuse? I’d not.

Who will save the men who are burnt?

Leave a comment

As I read this article, wherein Supreme Court judge is calling for hanging of people who burn brides, a hailstorm of thoughts crosses my mind. Being the Public Relations Officer of Save Indian Family Foundation, an NGO dedicated to promote the cause of Gender Equality and Family Harmony; I come across cases of men wronged by their wives on a daily basis wherein men are simply penalized for the mere fact that they are MEN.

One mere complaint of harassment from their wives, whether true or not, lands them in jail along with all their family members named in the complaint without any trial or investigation. Many lose their self-esteem, jobs even; commit suicide as evident from the suicide statistics available with the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB). As per the statistics, 57593 married men committed suicide in 2007 vis-à-vis 30064 married women. Figures for 2006 were 55452 married men vs. 29869 married women while those for 2005 are 52483 married men vs. 28188 married women. Every year more and more married men are committing suicide. But still there is no protection given to men. A major contribution of this comes from the misuse of dowry laws against men wherein a social presumption works against them

Now coming back to the article I’ve referred, Markenday Katju, Justice, Supreme Court of India today made a statement that “Those who burn brides should be hanged.” But, who is going to prove that the bride was burned? Will a man be hanged if his adulterous wife puts kerosene on herself and dies of burning? Or if the parents of the girl kill their daughter and then put the blame on the husband, then will the husband be hung?

And when you make a gender biased statement, “Those who burn brides need to be hanged”, why is it that you are not ready to offer the same level of protection to married men who are burnt alive? What is their fault? According to the NCRB data 3400 married are burnt alive every year on an average.

Further, Justice Katju went on to say that, “They all say that. Every time they burn a bride, they say it was a suicide.” Now this is nothing short of imposing his own assumptions on to the society, a right which he does not have, not even as a Supreme Court judge. First of all, he has assumed that all married women who die of burning are killed by their in-laws. There is no basis for his assumption as death due to burning can happen due to any reason, even kitchen accidents, negligence by women, suicide etc. And it will definitely not be in the interest of justice to hang the husband for these cases but from what views have transpired out of Katju’s statement, it is clearly evident that he has taken a gender obsessed stand which is not acceptable from a Supreme Court Judge.

Justice Katju’s statements are a clear call for the need of Judicial Reforms. Also in addition, before hanging husbands for ‘allegedly’ burning brides, Justice Katju needs to remember that the police force does not conduct a fair inquiry into the incident and merely relies on statements and is thoroughly incompetent in collecting evidences. With such lousy investigation and presumptions working at the back of mind, justice cannot be expected out of courts and in such a situation; “Judicial Reforms” is the call of the day.

With M Veerappa Moily becoming the law minister and talking of “Judicial Reforms” as the first thing to be done, some hope is definitely restored because Judicial Reforms are utmost necessary in today’s times of deteriorating faith on the judiciary. With irresponsible statements coming from the judiciary, it is clearly evident that the intellectual level of the judiciary has severely degraded. SIFF calls upon all the citizens to take part in judicial reforms as that is the only way to reduce crime in the society. Today criminals have no fear of any punishment because either the judiciary is too slow and corrupt or is involved in social service with gender obsessed statements.

Justice Katju had also made controversial statement, Bow down before your wife wherein he told; listen to your wife, even if she sounds unreasonable. Such statements from the judiciary send a strong signal to men that they should not expect justice from the courts and the question still remains open, “Who will save men who are burnt?

My question to Justice Katju, “Can you?”, “Will you?”

मैं आज की नारी: एक आत्मकथा

Leave a comment

नमस्कार

मैं आज की सक्षम नारी हूँ
राष्ट्रीय महिला आयोग की आभारी हूँ

मैं उस विलुप्त मूर्ती की एक अन्तिम अवशेष हूँ
जिसे कभी माता शब्द से पहचाना जाता था

मैं मेरे माता पिता की लाडली हूँ
मैं मुक्त हूँ, मैं मनचली हूँ
घरेलू काम से वंचित, मुझसे कोई भी काम नही करवाया है
सोचती हूँ की इस मुक्ती से, क्या मैंने पाया है?

नारी कभी सहनशीलता और संस्कृति की मूर्ती थी
नारी कभी सक्षम सुंदर और सम्पूर्ण परिवार की स्फूर्थी थी
आज मैं न सहनशील हूँ और नाही सक्षम हूँ
सम्पूर्णता में मेरे नारी पूर्वजों से कई गुना कम हूँ
न मैं गृहस्ती संभाल पाऊँ , और नही पति की सहचारी हूँ
मैं आज की अस्थिर, अपर्याप्त और असम्पूर्ण नारी हूँ
राष्ट्रीय महिला आयोग की आभारी हूँ

मदिरा सेवन के विरुद्ध कई हमने निदर्शन किए
इस प्रकार के कई समाज सेवक प्रदर्शन किए
आज मैं पूर्ण मुक्ती से मदिरा सेवन करती हूँ
धूम्रपान के कलुषित धूम्र में स्वास लेती हूँ
आज्ञापत्र पकडाई है मुझे देश के उन्नत नारी ने
पंख प्रदान किए है मुझे शाशन की अधिकारी ने

अनुशाशन हीन शाशन की अवैद कर्मचारी हूँ
कहने को मैं आजकी नारी हूँ
राष्ट्रीय महिला आयोग की आभारी हूँ

जानती थी मैं की नारी के प्रति सामाजिक सत्कार था
न्यायशास्त्र का दुरुपयोग मेरा जन्मसिद्ध अधिकार था
शोक ग्रस्त है एक परिवार , सदैव जहाँ पर प्यार था
पति बेच कर धन मै पाऊँ , ऐसा कुछ विचार था

न मेरे पास आज पति है, और नही मेरी परिवार है
न मेरी अभिमान मेरे पास है , और नाही किसीका प्यार है

माता पिता वृद्ध है आज, और भाई सुखी गृहस्त है
मुझे इस स्तिथी में लाने वाले आज सभी बहु व्यस्त हैं
किसीका साथ नही है आज, और धन से भी कुछ भोग नही
सुखी गृहस्ती जीवन का , इस जीवन में मुझे योग नही
क्या मैं बन पाऊंगी आज, पुन: किसीकी प्रिया?
क्या मैं जोड़ पाऊंगी रिश्ते , जिसको मैंने तोड़ दिया?
दुष्ट आयोग की प्रेरणा से, हर कोई सुख मैं हारी हूँ
आज मैं सचमुच एक अबला दुखित नारी हूँ
राष्ट्रीय महिला आयोग की आभारी हूँ

Bridegroom complains of dowry harassment!

1 Comment

AFTER BRIDES, it is now the turn of bridegrooms to complain about dowry and seek action against in- laws.

A case has come to light where a man complained to the police that his in- laws gave him dowry he never demanded.

Nishant Saini had married Anjali Dargan in 2007, but the marriage boat rocked within six months when Anjali walked out of the house in which they were living and slapped a dowry case against Saini.

She alleged Saini had taken Rs 1.45 lakh in dowry, given in two instalments of Rs 1.2 lakh and Rs 25,000. Saini, however, refuted the allegations. In a counter- complaint to the police, he blamed his in- laws for forcing him to accept the money he said he never demanded.

But the police refused to lodge a complaint. He then complained to the Delhi Police chief, seeking action against his wife and in- laws. In 2008, Saini moved court. He charged his wife and in- laws with committing an offence under the Dowry Prohibition Act.

The Act stipulates that anyone who demands or gives dowry can face punishment. “ We urged the court to direct the police to register a case against the bride and her parents,” said Pradeep Nawani, the lawyer for Saini.

The court directed the investigating officer of the case to file a report. Four months after the order, the officer failed to submit a report and told the court no case can be registered against the bride or her parents.

The court slammed the officer and directed two senior Delhi Police officers to take action against her.

Guidelines set by the Delhi High Court state that the police, before arresting a person under the Dowry Prohibition Act, must investigate the case and the bank accounts of the bride’s parents to verify if the sum of money they claim to have given in dowry.

Also, according to Supreme Court guidelines, a station house officer is duty- bound to register a case if it is a cognisable offence.

Men are committing suicides due to Domestic Violence

Leave a comment

Bangalore, 11 April: Canadian citizen of Indian origin Mr. Syed Makdoom committed suicide recently, unable to bear the pain of separation from his child by his estranged wife with whom he was involved in a custody dispute. He had been fighting a court battle since 2005 with estranged wife in Bangalore after misunderstandings cropped up between the two. As per Mr. Kumar Jahgirdar, President of Non Governmental Organization, “CRISP”, Makdoom committed suicide as he was unable to bear the mental torture meted out to him. On this, Panduram Katti, President, Save Indian Family Foundation, raised a point that there has been a phenomenal increase in suicides by men and this tells us that they are being tortured to a very high level.

As per statistics by National Crime Records Bureau analysis in the year 2007, 158,000 married men committed suicide in the last 11 years. Some Non Governmental Organizations believe that the main reason of increase of suicides of married men is the mental torture and harassment meted out to them. Jahgirdar receives a lot of cases where men are tortured. He said most of these cases are either cases where Domestic Violence Act has been misused against them or those cases where they are a victim of acute mental stress and depression in absence of any available channel of relief from Domestic Violence that they suffer from. Often the torture culminates in men’s suicides.

Panduram Katti also told that social problems like divorce and domestic disputes are increasing. Foundation did a nationwide survey on about 334 couples and found out that when it comes to confidence and strength, husbands are much weaker than their wives. This is manifested by their mental stress. As per Katti, this ultimately leads to suicide for many men.

Foundation member Virag, told that all over the country 158,000 married men have committed suicides in the last 11 years due to domestic violence. Especially after 1998 the suicide rate has shot up and risen by 40% he added. As per him, every week 50 cases are received by the Foundation. Karntaka Rakshana Vedike member Prem Kumari has said that every week she receives around 300 cases of domestic violence out of which 50-60 cases are of men facing domestic violence.

As per Jahgirdar, around 2 years back, Domestic Violence Act was passed by the Parliament, And after the enactment whether there has been a reduction in the number of incidents of domestic violence on women is a matter of research, however, men’s suicides have increased a lot and because of that men’s harassment coming to forth is a matter of concern.

Older Entries